What I ate today: 400 gram grapes, some chocolates with toffee (about 30 gram) and some chocolate balls called "nesquik kuler" (about 140 gram)

Oh god I'm such a loser. I can write it in my frontal bone with big letters LOSER!

I have a bad feeling for this night. I'm afaid I'm gonna cut my arm into tiny pieces. Just like a slice of fresh meat. I can't wait, it will be so peaceful. Finally calm down for a bit. Destroy my own body. The only think that give my life a meaning. I hate my body so much that I can't even find words. The only thing I can say is I HATE U!!!! GO AWAY, I DON'T WANT U TO BE HERE!!!!!

Geez, why must everything be so hard. Why must I hate myself? If I only could accept myself for who I am...

before - after

© Nemi 2002/2003